john 14:2

Mansions and eternity... and that isn't even the best part!

The best part is this:

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

Thomas saith unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

"...that where I am, there ye may be also."

There is no better place to be than with my blessed Saviour!

I wonder if Christian is sitting in His lap right now? Or maybe just running around in circles! :)

You can read all of John 14 HERE.

it has been 2 years

It has been 2 years since Christian went to be with Jesus. I mentioned it to Austin and Noah earlier this week, reminding them about today. They both looked at each other, completely surprised that it has been this long. They both thought that it had only been a year.

All week long, I have been contemplating what to write for today. A few ideas and thoughts have been swirling around in my head, but I have not had a peace as to what I should say.

These past two days, my heart has been heavily burdened for my friend Samantha. Two days ago, her loving husband Erik left this earth to be with our Heavenly Father. No one expects to be called home at only 42 years old. It was sudden, it was unexpected. Please pray for Sam and their three children!

I have written much about our grief over the past two years, and I pray that y'all have also seen God's grace that goes hand-in-hand with it. Instead of adding more to the pages of my opinion and experience, I want to share with y'all the TRUTH and FACT of God's Word. That you may come to see the face of God, to see Him for who He is... and that one day, you will be PREPARED to stand before His throne!

This is what I read just a few minutes ago. I know that God wanted me to read these words this morning and He has impressed upon my heart to share it with YOU.

"Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.

And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.

Thomas said unto him, Lord, we know not whither thou goest; and how can we know the way?

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him, for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."

-John 14:1-6, 16-18 (emphasis mine)

Life does not turn out how we expect and plan. I never dreamed that my precious Christian would only be with us for 3 years and 9 months. Sam never dreamed that her husband Erik would not be here today with her. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. But you don't have to go through it alone! Trust God. Believe on His Son Jesus Christ. Let Him be the pilot of your life and let His Word be your compass. That is REAL life, real living!

And dearest Sam, the Comforter lives in you. Let the Lord guide you and give you strength. It is spiritual warfare, a battle for your thoughts and the path that you will take after having your world turned upside down. Don't give up the fight! Put on the whole armour of God and use the shield of FAITH to resist the fiery darts of the devil! I love you, sweet friend and sister-in-Christ!!!

The bear and glory

Last night before bed, Austin came to give me the requisite hug and kiss goodnight. He took one step back towards his bedroom and then turned around to give me a second hug. With his spindly arms wrapped tight around me, he began to cry "I miss Christian!"

It broke my mommy heart, y'all.

*sigh*

There was nothing I could do or say to make the pain go away. No band-aid or popsicle could fix the wounded heart of this 10 year old boy missing his baby brother.

So I did the only thing that I could. I hugged him back. Hard. I gave him a kiss. I told him that I miss Christian too. I held him close and prayed for God's comfort. (Only God can be the true Comforter to him.)

I asked Austin if he wanted to sleep with Christian's dog-- this giant of a stuffed animal that Christian used to lay and climb on. I was surprised when Austin answered "No."

Instead, he asked if he could sleep with this... a token that a friend left at the cemetery on the 26th of last month.

Of course I said yes.

I watched my tender-hearted boy grab that bear that is half his size and haul it up to the top bunk. He keeps several pillows up there and carefully laid the bear on its own pillow. He scooted his pillow close so their heads would be touching. Then he took the comforter and gingerly covered up the bear first and then himself.

(This is the point where I just about lost it.)

There was something about the way he covered up that bear. I knew he was imagining it to be Christian. Wishing it to be Christian.

And quite frankly, so was I. Why does that bear and Christian have to share a similar hair color?!

I sucked in my breath, gave him another kiss, and held myself together long enough to make it to my own room. Then I fell on my bed and wept.

I am so glad that God hears my cries. I am so glad that He speaks to me in the midst of my tears. I am so glad that He reaches out His scarred hands and wants me to give my burdens over to Him! God does care for us and tells us to cast our cares upon Him (I Peter 5:7). When we do that, He gives us... peace.

That is what I can encourage my precious Austin to do. Because God cares for Him and hears his heart's cry too.

And not only mine and his, but yours as well.

My heart has cried out to God before. Twenty one years ago to be exact. I'll never forget that night, that moment when I saw my true self. Others saw me as a "good" girl but I knew the sin in my heart. I knew that I could never get to Heaven on my own merits. I saw how holy God was and knew that I could never ever be in His presence!

But then there was Jesus. His perfect life, his spotless heart, his endless love, and his great sacrifice on the cross. For ME. His glorious resurrection. His perfect example. For ME.

I asked Jesus Christ to save me from my sins that night. He gave me the gift of eternal life... and He gave me a new life.

Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. -II Corinthians 5:17

I gave my life to Jesus Christ. And for as long as I have breath, I want to live for Him and for His name to be glorified-- in good times and bad.

God hasn't called me home yet. But when He does, I'll be ready.

Are you ready?

I hope to always sing with sincerity "Glory to His Name"...

Down at the cross where my Savior died,

Down where for cleansing from sin I cried,

There to my heart was the blood applied;

Glory to His Name!

Refrain:

Glory to His Name,

Glory to His Name:

There to my heart was the blood applied;

Glory to His Name!

I am so wondrously saved from sin,

Jesus so sweetly abides within,

There at the cross where He took me in;

Glory to His Name!

Oh, precious fountain that saves from sin,

I am so glad I have entered in;

There Jesus saves me and keeps me clean;

Glory to His Name!

Come to this fountain so rich and sweet,

Cast thy poor soul at the Savior’s feet;

Plunge in today, and be made complete;

Glory to His Name!

Mowing and memories

After supper yesterday, the skies turned cloudy and the temperatures dropped into the 80s. The slight breeze was a pleasant change to the insufferable heat that we have been experiencing for much of the month.

While David and the boys played baseball in the front yard, I decided to do a little mowing in the back and side yards. I walked around the corner of the shed and stopped as soon as I saw this.

Wow. It has been over a year since the last time I mowed the lawn.

And it had been with Christian.

In fact, Christian spent that last Tuesday morning mowing the lawn with David.

*sigh*

He loved to sit in between our legs and ride around the lawn-- even with the bumps and dust and heat. No matter what we were doing, he just HAD to be in the thick of things and right at our side.

I climbed on the mower and sat in the seat. I put my hands on the handles and remembered Christian's little hands on them-- always trying to steer and be a big boy. He'd laugh and squeal with delight if I took my hands off and let him steer ALL BY HIMSELF.

"...'cause I big boy, mommy! 'member?! You fowgot!!!"

Oh baby, I could never forget you! Or how big you were... because you were always sure to remind me. And every time I'd pick you up, I could tell that you had grown just a little more.

My heart has been heavy all week (all month, all year...). Please pray for me and my family, especially as we go through this next week that will mark the 1 year anniversary of Christian's passing from this earthly life into eternal life.

Honestly, it will be nice to just get it over with. Every birthday, change of season, holiday and activity this past year has been met with the bittersweet thought of "...this time last year...".

It has been very difficult at times to put into practice Philippians 4:8

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

But why should we think on these things? Well, that means we have to read the next verse:

Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

While many of you can empathize with my hurt and sorrow, I wish I could show you some of the blessings and lessons of being wounded-- to see and KNOW the grace and peace that God gives. When your heart is crying out to Him and He clearly speaks to you-- sometimes in a whisper and other times clear and loud, like He is right in front of you.

If you have already believed that Jesus is the Son of God, that he died for your sins and that he rose the third day... If you have already asked him to forgive you of your sins and accepted his gift of salvation, then I encourage you, I implore you to practice that verse up there right now. Read the Bible and put into practice what it says. Do it now while things are going well for you. Do it now when things are difficult for you. Then you too will see and know exactly what I'm talking about, you will see and know the peace that only God can give you. Turn your fears, troubles, worries-- no matter how big or how small, over to the Lord.

And since you're going to read God's Word and practice what it says, how about living your life for the glory of God, rather than the glory of yourself? Because that is where true joy and fulfillment lies. After all, isn't that why God created us in the first place?

And if you, my dear friends, have not given your life to Jesus Christ, then I beg you to do it now! You can't piggyback your way into Heaven on the life of your parents. You can't get into Heaven by doing good things, by being baptized, by being "religious", by going to church all the time or by being a better person than so-and-so who says he is a Christian.

The Bible says that "by grace are we saved, through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Eph. 2:8 KJV, emphasis mine).

Don't let that one hypocrite or that one joyless person (who claims to be a Christian) be the reason that YOU don't get to spend eternity in Heaven. Don't let that "bad experience with religion" be the reason that YOU don't accept this gift of salvation. And for crying out loud, JUST DON'T DIE. Because when you do, YOU will spend eternity in one of two REAL places-- Heaven or Hell.

You know what? I don't know why Christian died when he was only 3.5 years old. I don't even know how he took his lifejacket off (which he never did before) and managed to circle back from the house to the pond without anyone seeing him (not the adults or my other boys who were swimming right there). I don't know why this had to happen us when we love and care for our children, when we serve God, when we help others, when we are diligent in our parenting... But that is where FAITH comes in! Faith is believing without seeing. Faith puts to death all those unanswered questions. Faith is taking God at His Word. And Faith is not turning from the truth of God's Word when life gets hard.

Jesus said "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." (II Corinthians 12:9).

I won't deny that I am so very weak. And I will shout that He is so strong!

It is through His gift and His grace that I KNOW that I will see Christian one day. I KNOW that I will spend eternity with Jesus. I KNOW that this life is fleeting (way too fleeting on the good days and way too long on the bad!). I KNOW that I can grieve differently than those who have not given their lives to Him.

And it is through His strength that I can face each morning.

How will you face each morning? How will you face eternity? And if you were to die today, do you KNOW where you will spend eternity?

Because we have no guarantee of tomorrow. Or even tonight.