Ups and downs and a goodnight song

What an emotional roller coaster these past two weeks have been. It's amazing how you can cry and laugh at the same time. Christian had such a big personality, his infectious joy (and did I mention his temper that shouldn't have been hilarious but was anyway?) would fill up an entire room. *sigh* So many things-- okay everything-- reminds me of him!

It's still hard to believe that he is gone... and yet in my heart of hearts I rejoice that he is far happier in the presence of Jesus right now than he ever could have been on our most perfect family day. I say rejoice because it does give me a measure of comfort in my grief and is a very vivid reminder to have an eternal perspective. I say rejoice because a parent always wants what is best for their child-- for them to be safe, happy, content... and right now, Christian is that and so much more!

But we miss him. A LOT. My heart and arms ache for him. Then when I feel overcome with tears and that huge pain in my chest, God comforts me. My eyes dry up and I feel better.

I don't really know where I'm going with this post. Sometimes the day drags on and other times I can't believe time has passed so quickly.

I do want to throw in here that when I look at Austin and Noah (aka Dash and Tank), my heart swells with love and I realize how very BLESSED I am! While our lives and family are changed forever, we are not destroyed. I look at their faces and see that my joy in life is not over. It is so tempting to stay in bed and not get up... but then I see their faces. Thank you, Lord for blessing me with them!

Earlier today, I was looking through a hymn book with my sisters and I couldn't believe this beautiful song that I ran across (see below). I cried, I smiled, I thanked God for His encouragement!

Even the title of the song-- The Christian's Good-Night by Sarah Doudney-- WOW. It was like God was giving me a giant hug.

I'll say goodnight to y'all now. And THANK YOU again for your prayers and sweet words!

Love,
Marshie

The Christian's Good-Night

Sleep on, beloved, sleep, and take thy rest;
Lay down thy head upon thy Saviour's breast;
We love thee well, but Jesus loves thee best--
Good-night! Good-night! Good-night!

Calm is thy slumber as an infant's sleep;
But thou shalt wake no more to toil and weep:
Thine is a perfect rest, secure and deep--
Good-night! Good-night! Good-night!

Until eternal glory lights the skies,
Until the dead in Jesus shall arise,
And He shall come, but not in lowly guise--
Good-night! Good-night! Good-night!

Only "Good-night", beloved-- not "Farewell!"
A little while, and all His saints shall dwell
In hallowed union indivisible--
Good-night! Good-night! Good-night!

Until we meet again before His throne,
Clothed in the spotless robe He gives His own,
Until we know even as we are known--
Good-night! Good-night! Good-night!