Below is my post for Heart of the Matter Online. Feel free to pop on over there and leave me a comment!
There are many things in which I have a love/hate relationship… my cell phone (chatting with my sister- good, ringing during my nap- bad), our dog (protector- good, poop on my shoe- very bad!), and, dare I say it?… Valentine’s Day!
There is something about this day that brings out the best and worst in me. The best in that it forces me to not be my usual self and to just spoil my boys… even if it’s just a little spoiling. For example, giving them a heart shaped box of cheaply made, cheap tasting chocolate and letting them eat it for breakfast. Some mom’s are really good about throwing caution (and health) to the wind by letting their children eat ice cream for supper- just for fun (as in, it’s not just because it’s someone’s birthday!). I, however, am not one of those “fun” mommy’s! I’m a rule making, slightly uptight, bossy, drill-sargeant type of mom. Yes, my children know that I love them, but there’s nothing like V-day to make me purposefully think and do outside my normal box.
I hate it, y’all.
One of the things I despise the most about Valentine’s Day is the tremendous pressure on a man to woo, romance and spoil his wife. There is an over abundance of commercials, music, and movies hounding them (and us) to believe that gifts and glitter are true tokens of love and affection.
In my pre-married days, I would have defined romance as a horse driven carriage, candlelit dinners (prepared by my man, not me of course!), diamonds, roses and poetry. But alas, I did not find such things back then… and I certainly haven’t found them since! Those things can only be found in soap operas and novels! (If I am wrong, please don’t burst my bubble and just count yourself lucky for having found such a romantic mate.)
Such expectations going into marriage… My oh my, I think my dear husband did not have a chance! But even without the outward trappings of overbearing and hit-you-over-the-head “romance”, he wooed me with his handsome self, his sense of humor, his easy-going personality, his purpose and drive, his intelligence and many other fine qualities. Oh wait, he also brought me roses. Back then he did. Now? Not so much. And that’s okay.
I have come to appreciate the other romantic qualities in my Mr. Drews. How is he romantic? He does little things. Many little things.
- Calls me just to tell me he loves me.
- E-mail’s me when he’s on a trip.
- Let’s me sleep in… AND keeps the kids quiet! (which is better than what *I* do for him!)
- Leaves me quick little love notes around the house– in my jewelry box, my purse, the garage door, the closet, on the mirror, on the computer monitor before he leaves on a trip (on Word with the monitor on sleep, waiting for my fingers to touch the keyboard after the kids have gone to bed).
- He opens doors for me– car door, house door, or to any building.
- He makes up songs about how he loves his “wifey” (I hope you’re not embarrassed David, at least I didn’t make a video clip of your song to share with everyone, right?)
- He always thanks me for the meal and compliments my cooking.
- He praises me in front of our children.
- He praises me in front of his parents.
- He even praises me in front of his friends! (and I blush and get embarrassed… but I like it, I really do.)
So yes, I suppose my husband is romantic. But not the opera and picnic under the stars kind of romantic. It’s the everyday kind of romantic. It is the loving me even when I am not so loveable kind of romantic. Yup, that’s MY MAN.
How is your husband romantic? Are your expectations unrealistic? Does he show you his love and affection in his own way or are you disappointed because it is not what you imagine it should be like?
Perhaps now would be a good time to make a list of all the things that you do appreciate and adore about your spouse. And ta-da! If you use your best handwriting- or even color ink in the printer- you will find yourself with a mighty fine homemade Valentine’s Day card!