Saturday, December 13, 2008

I should have known that Christmas and dread would never go together

I had been dreading putting up the Christmas tree and going through all the ornaments (as well as Christmas stockings) for quite some time. Each year, the boys will either make a special ornament or I'll let them pick one out at Hallmark. The plan is that when they go off on their own one day, they'll be able to take their ornaments with them-- as well as all the years of memories associated with each one. It's always a special time of reminiscing with my boys as the ornaments are hung on the tree.

As in all the other difficult things we've had to face since Christian left us, God's grace has been more than sufficient! Tonight really wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. We didn't even cry as Dash and Tank took turns hanging Christian's ornaments on the tree. Instead, it was a fun and precious time together as a family-- just like it should be. God is SO good!

The tree is filled with tons of airplanes (I try to get David one every year), homemade ornaments, and three very special "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments that have the boys' pictures on them. These special baby ones are only allowed to be put on the tree by mommy (hooray for me!). :-)

Right up there in the special ornament category is this one that we got in 2006 for our little Linus:

Don't you just love it? I thought it totally had the Awwwww! factor the moment I set my eyes on it. This year, Dash hung it on the tree. The boys and I smiled when we thought about how Christian loved to suck his thumb and carry his blue blankie around. I'll admit that I did get that choked up feeling inside, how could I not? But I'll say it again, I wouldn't trade my 3.5 years with Christian and all the wonderful memories, special moments, laughs, hugs, kisses and even tears for anything in the whole wide world! I'm one very blessed momma!


PS Psalm 100 is a good passage to read each day. It's a reminder to praise God no matter if your day is easy or difficult. It encourages me to set my mind not selfishly on myself, but on God. It's amazing how my heart is blessed and my countenance changed if I will just listen and obey...

Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.

Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.

Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

~Psalm 100

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