Friday, November 12, 2010

Christian's 6th Birthday


Christian's birthday is today. My 3.75 year old blonde boy wonder would be celebrating his 6th birthday! How can that even be?!

I have struggled with his friends starting school this year and with children celebrating their 4th, 5th and 6th birthdays... days that I will not get to celebrate with my powerhouse of a boy this side of Heaven. Sigh, cry, pout, stomp, crumple to the floor... I've done it all, sometimes outwardly, other times only in my heart.

Even when my mind appears to be coping, my body will show signs of rebelling. The nervous twitch in my left arm and hand have been plaguing me all day. I noticed that my leg is even twitching as I type. This involuntary flexing and jerking first began in those painful hours that Christian was missing. How often has my arm clued me in on my distress when I didn't even know that something was bothering me!

When my mind and body fail me, I am reminded that there is One who never fails-- my sovereign God!

God knew Christian before Christian took his very first breath and before he took his very last breath... and knew him well!




God knit him in my womb. God breathed life into him and gave him a soul. God loaned him to ME! {Thank you, Lord!}

Christian lived the exact number of days that God had for him! (Psalm 139:16) Even if I complain to God about His math, I still trust Him and thank Him.

As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is tried: he is a buckler to all them that trust in him. -2 Samuel 22:31

Six years ago today, I held Christian for the first time. I heard his cry, gazed into his eye (why is it that newborns only open one eye when they are born?), and sighed at the newest Drews boy. I was officially outnumbered 4 to 1 and I loved every second of it!


I marvel at the gift that God has given me in the birth of Christian Edward Drews. Do you know what's even better? Not only did God give me Christian as a son, but He gave me HIS Son Jesus Christ as well! I am doubly blessed for all eternity-- and even more so when you consider Austin and Noah.

Happy 6th Birthday, Christian!!! We miss you. We love you. Even though we'll see you soon, it won't be soon enough.



{You have been born once, but have you ever been born again?}

39 comments:

Annemarie said...

I love you, Marsha! I am praying for you this morning.

~Annemarie

Deedee said...

Dear Marsha! I'm typing through tears and sending ((((HUGS)))) across the pond and the continents. Thinking of you and your family and praying for you today. I bet he is having some amazing Birthday party with the angels though, huh? :o)

Shelly Reese said...

Thinking of you and your family today, Marsha.

Ruthanne said...

I love you, Marsha! Praying for you today. And everyday.

Hallie Westcott said...

Love you Marshie. Not a month goes by that you are not on my mind and in my prayers. Your transparency in sharing your most private pain has helped me through some terrible trials. I cannot imagine what you must feel, but I am so glad you have Him to lean on.

Big hugs my friend. Love you.

Mom2xamj said...

Thank you, Marsha! My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Samantha said...

Praying for you today and always Marsha.

Karen said...

Thinking and praying for you today...

amy in peru said...

I think of Christian and you often when I look at my boy. especially at my boy's milestones... their birthdays are very close. it's one thing that brought your loss so close to my own heart and keeps it fresh.

I mourn with you today, for the days that were not to be, but not as those who have no hope, because we will have many, many days to come, to celebrate what God has done... and then we will see ALL that He has done, and the WHY, and we will know that everything He does is so perfectly GOOD.

Love you Marsha.

5forjesus said...

Happy 6th Birthday sweet Christian! Sending precious Marsha and family a big hug today. What do you do to celebrate Christian's birthdays in Heaven? Don't forget to include the whole family. We usually visit Josiah's grave sometime during his birthday week. I always take a photo of the children there and let them leave him a present or drawing if they want. We also look through his baby book together. Sometimes we bake a birthday cake to enJOY. I am sure whatever you do that it will be honoring to our Lord. I am so comforted knowing that you know and love our Lord Jesus Christ. He will make Christian's birthday special just for you - in whatever way will bring you the most comfort and JOY! I love you Marsha. Hugs of JOY JOY JOY!
Dawn

H-Mama said...

{{{{{{Marsha}}}}}}

Gwen Toliver said...

Words are a completely inadequate response to this sad, beautiful post - so thankful we have the hope of eternal life and for the joy that brings your dear family. Praying for you especially today!

Stephanie said...

Thinking of you and sending prayers your way today/always. (((Hugs)))

Stephanie, The Candid Pastor's Wife said...

Thanks for sharing Christian's birthday with us, sweet Marsha.

Christine said...

I love you so much!

Milk and Honey Mommy said...

Marsha,

I too think of you and your family often. Many times when I look at my baby, I think of Christian.

I pray for a special comfort for all of you today.

sagerats said...

I'm with Gwen. I keep typing and deleting, trying to find what to say. I know it's important to say something though (learned this after my father's death). Every one of your posts on Christian touches my heart. I love how you leave an open invitation. I love you, dear friend. Praying for you and your family today, and for any unbeliever who reads these posts.

Ali said...

I am thankful everyday that God has shown Himself to you, and has kept His word when he says that He brings comfort. The strength that you have comes ONLY from God.

Love you so much Marsha! I am praying for you today.

Susan said...

"Sigh" Marsha, a big heavy sigh. In your weakness God has made you strong. I am so blessed to be a witness to his faithfulness. You are on my heart and prayers today. Oh, and that last picture of Christian with his teeth showing totally reminds me of Coco's girl!

Kris @ WUHS and Eclipsed said...

Happy Birthday, sweet Christian.

Faith said...

Happy birthday Christian!!!

Praying for you sweet friend!

darcy said...

Wish my words could ever do justice for the amount of peace and comfort I wish so often for you.

I'm thinking of Christian today as he celebrates his heavenly birthday.

Much love.

Cindy said...

Happy birthday, sweet Christian. Even those of us who never knew you miss you very much!

Sheri said...

Praying for you today sweet Marsha.

Nancy said...

Sending (((hugs))) and prayers your way. Thanks for sharing your memories of your sweet boy with us on his birthday. His life and your journey with the Lord have touched mine.

Beckypdj said...

I've been saying Christian's name today. I know you can't hear me, but I said it anyway.

Happy Birthday Christian.

Hugs to you and your family Marsha.

Melissa Stover said...

i saw your sister's post on facebook either today or last night about christian's birthday and i started praying for you then. i hope god gives you good memories today.

Jen said...

You don't know me. I stumbled over here from Amy Bayliss' blog, following a comment you made to her. I read the story of Christian, and the post about the search for him. It made me cry, as the answer to my prayer for my unborn baby was not what I wanted it to be, either. I grieve for my tiny little Morgan Daniel, but cannot imagine how much harder it has to be for you and your family, having had the time you did with Christian. God bless you, and thank you for sharing your experience with us. It has helped me more than you know.

RaD said...

Happy Belate Birthday Little Man! You are are loved and missed, but thankfully in a safe place until your family can join you again.

Traci Michele said...

SO SO Sweet girl! Glad to meet you @ Relevant. I was the one sporting Ruthanne's camera strap :-)

Love,
Traci

Emily said...

Happy Birthday Little Man. Tell Jesus HI for us. :)

Natalie said...

What a beautiful tribute to your sweetheart. I am sorry. Wish we could have talked more. Such a whirlwind. But in our hearts we preserve memories, don't we. Precious memories with the hope of what is yet to come. With His love,

KD said...

He is such a gorgeous boy! Love you!

LearningByHISgoodGrace said...

Reading this makes me love you. You are the sweetest woman. Thinking of you and praying for peace.

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Tasha said...

Hey Marsha...... I thought of Christian for an entire month leading up to this day. Do you remember, our boys were born on the exact same day. I wanted to write to you on that day and tell you that I love you and that I would be celebrating Christian along with my Isaiah. Of course life happens. My in-laws came to help celebrate which was distracting, and we also found out that we are expecting again that week (shhhh, it's a secret!), which was surprising, to say the least! But I still wanted to tell you, even though I'm late, that I celebrated Christian's birthday right along with Isaiah's, and I probably will for the rest of his birthdays.
We had a football theme, as Isaiah is obsessed right now!
I'm thinking of you and your family!
<3, Tasha

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