Saturday, October 31, 2009

In a strait between here and there

Do you ever read something that really strikes a chord with you?

Something that makes you want to point and jump and yell "Yes! That is EXACTLY how I feel! I just didn't know how to say it!"?

Yesterday, it was Philippians 1:23-24

"For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:

Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you."

That is where I have been this past year, that is where I am now-- betwixt the two.

Sometimes my balance will shift wildly from one side to the other before settling into an uneasy equilibrium.

You see, my vision and hopes look to there-- to Christ, eternity, Heaven, being reunited with Christian, being reunited with other beloved family members and dear friends, DEPARTING TO BETTER.

And yet my feet are planted here with my husband, my Austin, my Noah... where I can be of service to God until He calls me home.

It's not that here is horrible. I have an amazing husband and kids and an incredible life! I am closer to God than I have ever been and I have a renewed appreciation for an eternal perspective.

I guess I'm just tired. Tired of missing Christian. Tired of crying. Tired of my heavy heart. Of being burdened for hurting friends and lost loved ones. Tired of worrying about my boys coping. Tired of being strong. Tired of being weak. Emotionally tired.

I am not depressed. But reading that up there does make me realize that perhaps I am too ME minded right now.

I need to think more about HIM.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.
-Psalm 121:1-2

I want to be where God would have me be and right now, it is here. My thoughts often wander to yesterday and my dreams anticipate there, but I am here.

In this day.

I will rejoice in this day that the Lord has made. I will be glad in it-- no matter if the day be warm and joyful or dark and bittersweet. I want to have His sweet peace in my heart and to glorify God in every situation, every circumstance.

Right here.

One day we will know and say "God knew best." If we will only walk by faith and not by sight!

One day the curtain will be lifted, questions answered, and faith rewarded. God will never disappoint. So take courage, never lose hope, and keep looking up.
-Ruth Bell Graham

What will you do while you are here? Will you lift up your eyes to the hills no matter how low or hopeless your situation might seem?

Don't give up. Finish this race. Finish it well.


Darcy @ m3b said...

Beautiful. *hugs*

Heidi said...

You inspire me to be a better me...for Him...for those that need me...and somewhere in there, for me.

Thank you for always setting me back on have that special way!

You are a blessing...

NCMom said...

It is so true isn't it? We know these verses and have heard them over and over. The one thing I've learned in my thirty-something years is that it is much easier to talk than to walk.

Heaven gets sweeter as we age and understand more about Him, doesn't it?

You are walking the walk! He is guiding you and you are most definitely giving Him glory!

Thank you for such encouraging post. They certainly keep things in perspective for me.


Unknown said...

Thank you, Marsha. You've ministered to me today. I needed this word.

beckypdj said...

We will finish it well!! How can we not? Our Creator resides on the inside of us.

I know too well the "tired" feeling, tired of missing them, tired of being tired. But as you said, I must focus on something else, something outward. I to have friends that are hurting from attacks of the enemy. I truly believe satan knows his days are numbered and he is turning up the heat and applying pressure. But we know the outcome!!

I am ready to go, but I will stay and do my part. Thank you Lord you NEVER leave us.

chippy said...

beautifully said!

Leanne said...


My thoughts exactly.

Thank you for inspiring me to refine my focus and resharpen my focus!

Debbie said...

I love you, Marshy...I can't wait to hug you again :)

Karin Katherine said...


So many of us have been there in our own private torments. I know Christian is home in Jesus' arms but as your friend I cried for him to be in *your* arms.

Your testimony is so powerful and will be richly rewarded for all eternity.

Dawn Camp said...

Wow. That verse says it perfectly, doesn't it. So glad you "found" it. :-)

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

"Our Creator resides on the inside of us." I like that. A lot.

Y'all are such great friends (and sisters!) to me. Truly.

Melissa Stover said...

i didn't want to comment on this post right away because i didn't have any words to compare to those you wrote. i still don't. but i wanted you to know i hear you. i'm listening.

Andrea said...

Yep, this was a good one Marsha.. I've had to read it several times. I don't know how it applies to me quite yet, but I'm working on it. Keeping my focus where it should reapply myself everyday to doing the right thing instead of the thing that requires less effort. Thanks.

Alison said...

Oh, you dear sweet thing! Big (((hugs)))!
Still praying for your family often,
enjoy them-

Sarah said...

Powerful thoughts...and put into words beautifully. Thanks for sharing your've made me think today...where is my hope?


Becca~CapturingSimpleJoys said...

Beautiful words, both yours, scripture and the quotes you shared. Keep having faith, knowing you are needed and loved in the here. We have the assurance that Heaven will always be there, waiting for us when our time here is completed.

aka eyecorn said...

I'm so glad to be back blogging and catching up with you. You're a wise woman, full of inspiration. When you have a chance, please come by and say "hey"
Michelle aka eyecorn

Learning At Our House said...

Wow, Marsha! What a very well written statement. I think you are speaking to everyone of us. We all forget about living in the "now." I have been working hard on this for awhile now. I actually think it will always be a struggle because of the kind of society we live in. I know, though, that your sentiment goes much deeper. I can only imagine being tugged between these two worlds... one where a particular child is and the other one where the other children are. When it comes to our children, I don't believe there could ever be any stronger emotion. I love reading your insights. You are an amazing woman!


Anonymous said...

Thank you for the wonderful post. This is exactly what I needed to hear today.

Anonymous said...

That's a wonderful post, Marsha. I think of you and your beautiful boys often.

Anonymous said...

wow...powerful stuff I ponder my Mom's battle w/ stage IV breast cancer...and where this journey could lead....more quickly than I had hoped.... I know that she will finish it well...and would be encouraged by this when the time is right....

God is using your gift of communication my friend to minister to many of us here with you....

We are so blessed to have you here....

Hugs - Donna McCann