plugging along

We are just plugging along with life around here...

+ 15 weeks prego, still pukey, and dying to have an ultrasound so we know if baby is a boy or girl. Boo hoo. I don't know how people can wait until baby is born to know-- I am too impatient for that! I think it would be just as much a surprise at the ultrasound as it would be at birth. Besides, knowing in advance helps with name planning... We are stumped as to what name we would use if we have another son. Are you an advanced finder outer? Or do you wait until birth to find out?

+ Shopping on this island can be quite frustrating. Three trips to the store and I still don't have buttermilk. But one thing that I am pleased to find here is a Motherhood Maternity Outlet! Woohoo for an extra 40% off sale prices! And they don't carry just Motherhood, but Pea in a Pod, Mimi and some others. My prego clothes are SO much cuter this time around! What do you think about today's maternity clothes? Cute, ugly or do you just buy bigger normal clothes when you're prego?

+ We started school this past week, even though I did not have the year planned out on paper. I know that if I wait until my to-do list is complete to begin with our lessons, school just wouldn't start around here until never. We still have a couple more subjects to incorporate, but so far, so good! Do you ease back into your school year or tackle it all from day 1?

I have more energy now than I have for the past couple of months, even though the nausea still gets me. Hopefully I can plug along with blogging once again. I miss recording our random life and connecting with friends. Facebook is easy and fun, but just not the same.

PS That picture up there is the first time I have unzipped my camera case in months! Further proof that this baby is kicking my butt.

3 years

It is nearing the end of August 26th here. We were blessed with 3.75 years with my sweet Christian and have now been 3 years without him.

It has been a very rough month emotionally. My dang diggity twitching left arm and leg have been driving me crazy. Christian has been on all of our minds more than usual, even for Austin and Noah who don't really associate August with sorrow.

The other night, Noah was sobbing in his room, new barrage of tears triggered by the memory of the moment when we told him that Christian was gone. I didn't know what to say... So I cried with him, holding him in my arms. It is hard being a big brother and not having your little brother around to play with or bother you.

He asked for a picture of Christian to keep in his room... I found an old Christmas postcard with our family picture for him to tape to his nightstand and he "borrowed" a picture from David's nightstand to place on top.

So much of this year is different from last year and that first year.

We are living halfway across the world.

We are anticipating the birth of a new Drews baby.

We have changed... I have changed.

Grief changes you forever. And when you trust God in your grief, He will walk with you and you will be changed for the better.

Will there still be tears? Absolutely! The hunger of loss cannot be satisfied this side of Heaven. It is a missing that goes unfulfilled. But there can still be JOY and you can walk with HOPE!

For those of you that are new in your grief journey, you will not always feel the way you feel right this very second. With God's help, it will get less hard! The laughter will return to your house and you will smile again. You won't ever forget your child, your friend, your husband... but in Jesus Christ, you will be comforted.

Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you.

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.

Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also.

-John 14:17-19

How do I feel today?

I. HAVE. PEACE.

I can't explain it, but I have an overwhelming peace in my heart. A few tears today, but no anguish. No despair. No hopelessness.

And I know it is because so many of you have been praying for me and my family!

THANK YOU. Thank you for your encouraging comments, emails, FB messages, and cards. Thank you for walking this road with me for the past three years. Thank you for remembering Christian.

I miss his mischief.

I miss his muscles.

I miss his mess.

Yes, it has been 3 years since the day that my sweet Christian died.

But it has also been 3 years to the day that he truly began to LIVE!

Three years of him being in the presence of our Creator, being with the One who knew him even before I did... Three years of him seeing the face of Jesus Christ, who died for me, for Christian, for you. Now I am three years closer to being with my littlest man again.

I miss you, Christian. I have been watching this video of you laughing today.

Listening to your chuckle makes my face break out into a big smile! The boys have their own room now... we have been wondering if you would've liked your own room or if you would've insisted on bunking with Austie or Boah. I guess you already know that you are a big brother. :-) I wonder if Jesus has told you whether you have a little brother or little sister? Even if this baby is a boy, you will still always be our littlest man.

I love you.

Mommy

10wks 4days and I am unfun.

How can something the size of a lime kick my butt so much?!

I have been the most un-fun aunt, mommy, wife, daughter and friend. Besides flying to New York, Texas, and back to Guam again, all I have done is eat, sleep, sleep, be nauseous, and lay around.

I barely have enough energy to scroll through FB on my phone.

But I did attempt a picture.

10 weeks, 4 days

Be honest, doesn't my belly look big?

I know I had a bigger belly to begin with than with any of my other pregnancies, but yowzers! So much for the "Your lower abdomen is probably just starting to protrude a bit now" that my WhatToExpect pregnancy app is telling me.

RANDOM PREGO THOUGHTS:

- I wonder how early this baby will arrive? I am due 2-22-12. Austin was 2 wks early, Noah 5 wks early, and Christian was 3 wks early.

- What I wish I could eat right now? A cold salad with thinly sliced ribeye steak (cooked medium, chilled) with balsamic vinaigrette dressing. Mayo is gross. Mustard and jalapenos are yum.

- I wonder how different labor will be at 36 years old compared to 29 years old when Christian was born. Anyone want to chime in with their own experience?

- Two delivery options here in Guam. The one hospital where you don't ever want to go when you're sick but people say it's okay to have a baby there... and a birthing center that offers pain management (I guess it's wishful thinking to think that means epidural?). My ob/gyn delivers at both... I am leaning towards birthing center since it would be more comfortable for my boys, but man, I did love my epidural with Christian! Never had it with Austin and wanted it but didn't get it with Noah.

Even though I am on my laptop in bed, it's time for me to rest again. Bleh. We are still living in the hotel... 2 months and counting... but our household goods should arrive on island tonight. A week to clear customs and then we are outta here! I can't wait to be settled, have a kitchen, our own space, that beautiful view...

Hey all you older moms or those that have a big gap of years between your kids (like you Heather!), any advice to share?

best anniversary gift ever

Sooo we decided to celebrate our anniversary on both days! :-)

Look at how young we were! I had just turned 21 and David was 23. You tell me, what's more shocking-- him having hair or him smiling in a picture? hehehe

See those grins up there?

Well, we're grinning again... and frankly in disbelief...

Nope, not having twins... just felt the need to test twice to be sure!

I still can't believe it.

We truly covet your prayers... prayers for a healthy pregnancy and delivery, prayers that we will not be fearful...

Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:
-Isaiah 26:4

I am surprised. Are you surprised?

Most of all, I am thankful that the Lord has answered the cries of our heart. He is so good to give us this GIFT!

And we rejoice.

park day and almost anniversary

When you think park day, what picture comes to mind?

Piney woods, playgrounds and maybe a swimming pool is the norm in our corner of Houston.

Here in Guam, however, a homeschool park day looks a little different...

Okay, A LOT different.

{They were spoiled rich kids (L-R, President's son, Bill Gates' son, unnamed, Donald Trump's daughter) stranded on an island for a year, surviving by eating sharks.

Tough and imaginative cookies, aren't they?}

Totally off-topic, this whole time difference poses another interesting question.

[Whoa, this is a BIG picture of us... me with my old hairdo and David looking as handsome, mean and bald as usual! We look like giants!]

Mine and David's 15th wedding anniversary is on June 29th. However, the 29th here is for the most part the 28th in TX, which is where we were married.

Much thought and hem-hawing later... okay, pretty much a quick discussion on the way to Blockbuster led to us deciding to celebrate our anniversary on June 30th.

It's just weird.

Coco brought up a good point. She said that her birthday is on July 14th. She was born in Korea and yet does not celebrate her birthday on the 14th in Korea, but on the 14th in the US.

Bah! I hadn't thought of that point. Either way, maybe it's because we still are conscious of the time difference?

What would y'all do? Celebrate here on the 29th (28th in TX) or on the 30th (29th in TX)?

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50mm friday - yummy yogurtland!

Do you like my treat up there? It's coconut frozen yogurt with kiwi, strawberries, cheesecake pieces, sweet red beans and mochi (sweet rice cake). YUM!

The boys and I met up with Denise and her girls at Yogurtland today. What a joy it was to spend time talking with her and laughing at our kids getting along so famously. :-)

New friends are a tremendous blessing!

I'm participating in Hallie Westcott's 50mm Friday. Care to join us?

waiting, new license and it's pretty here

Sooooooo we found out that our stuff is not going to be here anytime soon. Even though it was packed up weeks ago, it is still sitting in Los Angeles and should be arriving here in approximately 33 days.

That's over a month, y'all.

I miss cooking, my pillow, cold a/c, and s-p-a-c-e.

In other news, I handed over my Texas Drivers License and got this bad boy instead. Kinda makes me sad.

Moving all the way to Guam was not that big a deal to me, and yet handing over my Texas license was... Why is that?!

I thought about lying about my weight on the application. Hotel living and eating out all the time is not conducive to rejoicing on the scale.

I would totally have lied had I known they were actually going to print my exact weight on the front of my license!

Please tell me my library card won't be as painful to look at.

Let's move along now, shall we?

The tide has been very low and the waters very calm this past week. Peaceful walks on the beach were just what we needed after being in the hotel all day.

[The sand on this beach is actually very white and soft. What you see here are the marks of the receding water.]

No matter how clear the sky, it never takes long for a storm to brew, empty itself and then stop as suddenly as it came.

[These cell phone pics just don't do justice to the beauty of this island.]

Guam has a small town (but tropical) feel and a population of approximately 160,000. Very opposite of Houston!

You can tell if a town is small in Texas by two things:

1. It has a Dairy Queen.

2. They have one traffic light.

No Dairy Queen here and there are definitely a lot of traffic lights, but let's consider the fact that there is only one underpass/overpass on the entire island. That tells me it is definitely the opposite of big, overcrowded Houston here... and I like it that way.

Would you lie about your weight if it was on the front of your drivers license? What's the population of your town? Do you think it is too big, too small, or just right?

PS All of the [parentheses] and blockquotes in this post are bugging me... too tired to fix it. No one else has notices, yes?

blue monday

{not sad blue, but color blue}

The time difference between Guam and the States really messes with my mind sometimes. Being 17 hours ahead makes me feel like a time traveler.

If you are nice to me, maybe I'll tell you how your day is going to be! *snort*

We had a nice long family walk this afternoon, treading on low tide rocks normally hidden from view. We passed caves and crabs, gun placements and WW2 pillboxes...

I would have loved to have my camera with me.

But water + me walking + passing rain showers + Nikon D300s = disaster waiting to happen!

These after-the-walk shots were the only blue part of my day. :-)

I do wish I could have captured the blue sea stars... maybe next time I will remember to bring the Kodak.

Wouldn't it be fun to glide across the bay with these guys?

So, what do you have planned for today?

Not that I don't already know... *snort*

50mm friday - reading in bed

I love to see my boys reading in the middle of the day.

Noah is finishing up Rascal by Sterling North.

(doesn't he look pampered in his own big hotel bed?

he is super excited to not have to share!)

Jumping in with Hallie's 50mm Friday-- want to join us?

sweet shot: hotel flora

While we are itching to get out of this hotel room and into our own place, I do appreciate the small touches in the common areas... like candles at night and new flowers every morning.

I should make more of an effort to do this in my own home... y'know, just as soon as our stuff gets here and we get to move on up. :)

Hooking up with Darcy's Sweet Shot Tuesday. Week 59! She is so not a quitter.